#ScaryMovieADayMonth 2017 (Days 21-31)

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It’s over.  It’s over now, move over.  Tur-key’s turn now, it’s over.  October’s.  Shut.  Down. ……SORRY!

You don’t know about that.  R.I.P. Natina Reed.

BUT WAIT!  We’re not putting #ScaryMovieADayMonth 2017 to rest just yet.  We still got 11 to go over.

Day 21: Trilogy of Terror (1975)

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Like Tourist Trap, this movie was featured on “The 50 Best Horror Movies You’ve Never Seen”; a documentary special released in 2014.  I watched that special (obviously) and I’m planning on watching all the movies I haven’t seen on there.  I went with this one first strictly for it’s short run-time.  I thought the first short of this anthology was alright and I already forgot what the second short was about.  The last one though… it was the memorable and fun to watch compared to the others.  There’s one “Oh shit, it’s about to go down.” moment that brought me way too much joy than it had any business  bringing.  Not only that; everything from the opening monologue to the final shot was entertaining to me which can’t be said about a lot of the dry, slow-moving horror produced before ’78.

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Day 22: Tales From The Crypt (1972)

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Another one.  Anthology horrors don’t necessarily need a connection between the tales but this one is better for having one.  After the tales are told, it’s revealed why they were told, which gives the movie a bit more purpose than the customary anthology horrors of that time.  While some of the acting isn’t the best and the images aren’t the scariest, the good terror was in the idea of what was happening more so than what’s seen on screen.  There were a couple of special effects that were impressive for a movie released in the early 70’s but none that would be as memorable if not for the story surrounding them and that’s what I like about these tales.  It’s the theme each tale had in common and the ending that I appreciated and liked just enough to make me want to watch the sequel.  So that’s what I did.

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Day 23: The Vault of Horror (1973)

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Nope.  This is not…. *sigh*.

In case you didn’t know, this movie is based on a comic book series published by EC Comics in the 50’s.  My favorite thing about this movie is an Easter egg.  I’m talking the smallest minor detail.  The comic book itself is seen sitting on the table in one scene and even the Tales From The Crypt book, which was also a comic published by EC Comics, is shamelessly plugged.  I love meta shit like that.  ……That was it.  The tales were fine but… meh.  The audio in these old movies are already not that great but this shit sounded horrendous.  I know not to expect much from these movies but that ending was trash.  I think I’m done with the 70’s for now. *hops back in time machine*

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Day 24: Tales From The Hood (1995)

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Clarence. Williams. III.  Great performance!  Now I know where The Game got that excerpt for “Da Shit” on his sophomore album Doctor’s Advocate.  (There I go again showing how much of a Hip-Hop savant I am.)  Anyway, there’s a tale featuring David Alan Grier on here about voodoo drawings and I swear I saw this as a kid on VHS.  Something tells me it might have been Wishmaster but I don’t know.  I must’ve seen this somewhere, it’s so familiar.  The scariest scene in the entire movie is basically a music video with gangsta ass music playing behind a bunch of graphic images of dead people and real lynchings.  It was disturbing.  The rest of it was as cringe worthy as Rodney King’s “Can we all get along?”, which was quoted in this movie.  While it’s not even close to being Spike Lee’s best effort, I enjoyed about half of this movie just fine.

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Got a little carried away with the anthology horrors.  As much as I like watching them, they’re not giving me that feeling I’m looking for.  I need to get back to the real movies to end #ScaryMovieADayMonth 2017 the right way.  It’s time to take it back to the master of horror, Stephen King.

Day 25: 1922 (2017)

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I didn’t plan it but this makes 4 Stephen King based movies for this year’s list.  Netflix is pumping them out!

Somehow, I didn’t get the feel I was hoping for with 1922 either.  The most horrifying stuff happens in the first half of the movie.  The rest wasn’t all that scary, I didn’t think.  However, in terms of storytelling, this was a damn good movie.  The story had me invested early on; focusing on every detail, clinging to every word,… I was relishing how dark the narrative was becoming.  If you’re looking for a great suspenseful drama with heavy southern accents,  this is a great one.  Just don’t expect to be blown away by the end.

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Day 26: Creep 2 (2017)

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Could you think of a sequel that’s better than the first movie?  There are some out there but they’re few and far between.  ADD CREEP 2 TO THE LIST!  Mark Duplass is BRILLIANT!  I thought he was great in the first movie but he knocked this one out of the park from the opening scene to the very end.  I’m officially a fan of this series and yes, a third will apparently be made which makes this an actual series.  I can not wait to see what this crazy bastard does next.

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I had one problem with this movie, just one.  As a person who has no problem suspending disbelief, I had a tough time believing anyone in the real world would act the way a certain character did in her situation.  Her reactions to some things were a bit muted.  Even though it’s explained – and for that, I’m willing to let it slide – I still feel there could’ve been a way to make it feel a little more realistic.  Although at this point, I’m just nitpicking.  I’m sorry.  That’s what happens when you watch hundreds of horror movies and you know how they work.  Good thing I also know when to throw minor criticisms out the window and recognize when a movie is greater than that one minuscule flaw.  I really had a blast watching this movie and that’s all that matters.

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Day 27: Blair Witch (2016)

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SHIT.  GOT.  REAL.

You’d think after watching hundreds of scary movies, it gets easier to sit through them.  I mean… it kinda does but if there’s something that still frightens me to my core, it’s the memory I have of watching The Blair Witch Project.  I was 8 or 9 years old and the way I felt watching that movie was completely justifiable for anyone at the time but especially for a kid.

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Halfway through this movie, I felt it.  My stomach got queasy and my throat was dry but I didn’t wanna sip water in fear that I might choke if I was startled while drinking.  My 9 year-old feelings came back one by one with every familiar image.  The callbacks to the original had me on edge and the events in this film were scary as shit.  Perfect combination of keeping the essence of the Blair Witch lore and introducing new ideas and information about the Black Hill Forest.  I almost went back to watch a few scenes again to piece things together carefully to better understand what I just watched and I couldn’t bring myself to do it.  I had had enough.  I was shook.

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Day 28: Yoga Hosers (2016)

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This is the most Canadian movie I’ve ever seen.  It’s not even a Canadian production.  Apparently, Kevin Smith’s intention was to make three Canada-centric horror comedies that all connect in some way.  Yoga Hosers is the second installment of what Smith calls his “True North Trilogy”.  Wish I knew that before I watched this spin-off of the first installment, a movie called Tusk.  (Fuck it, I’m watching that next.  It’s Kevin Smith, man.)  Anyway, this movie isn’t scary at all.  It probably shouldn’t be on this list but it’s too late now.

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Starring Kevin Smith’s daughter, Harley Quinn Smith and Johnny Depp’s daughter, Lily-Rose Depp, who start the movie with a rap rock jam session (Of course, the director’s a huge Run DMC fan.), I was curious to see how a movie like this could work.  ……You’re damn right Silent Bob made it work.  Despite its ridiculous premise, Yoga Hosers is dripping with butt jokes and jammed up that very ass with Canadian caricaturization, nerdy nods and comic book references; that signature campy style we’ve come to expect and want from Kevin Smith movies.  His techniques still charm my geek shorts off.  We got Smith and Depp themselves in supporting roles, cameos from iconic people, tons of Batman references and Easter eggs, (More than I caught with my own eye, I’m sure.) and… come to think of it…this is the most “Kevin Smith” movie I’ve ever seen.

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Day 29: Tusk (2014)

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Nobody creates a cinematic universe quite like Kevin Smith, holy crap.  I had no idea how different this movie was gonna be from Yoga Hosers.  Now that I’ve seen them both, when I think about how these movies work in order, it’s pretty fucking brilliant.  Tusk begins as a comedy and slowly gets darker and more fucked up as it continues.  There’s still humor throughout the movie but it’s done in moderation which doesn’t take away from the sick, crazy story being told.  Props to this cast for carrying this movie and somehow keeping it up in the next movie as different characters, with the exception of a few main characters who get more screen time and more of a center focus in Yoga Hosers.  A trilogy of three completely different types movies within the same universe?  This is not the first time Kevin Smith has executed this.  However, it’s taken a step further this time.  Genius.  Can’t wait for the third installment, Moose Jaws.

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Day 30: Happy Death Day (2017)

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A girl wakes up on her birthday. That night, she’s murdered. She wakes up the next morning, it was a dream. Or was it?

Look, I’ll save you the Google search. It wasn’t a dream.  The poor girl relives the same day every day and dies every night.  It’s Groundhogs Day: The Horror Version.  The college girl horror version. There was a moment toward the end that took the movie from alright to “oh shit, that’s crazy”.  That lasted for a minute and five seconds.  It got corny fast. They almost redeemed it all with just two words, but by the end, it just converted to a good kind of corny.  A “Ok, that wasn’t all that bad. I had fun.” kinda corny. I guess the term is “cheesy”.  Whatever.  It was an eventful 95 minutes.

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Day 31: Halloween (1978)

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Come on.  I couldn’t NOT watch the original Halloween on Halloween after this:

If you haven’t already seen this CLASSIC, you’re not about this horror life.  I mean, I can respect that.  After all, not everyone is a loony horror enthusiast who watches scary movies for fun on the date the movie takes place in.  You definitely should cuz it’s better that way but you don’t hav- … I say that to say, … what is there to say about this iconic film?  John Carpenter.  Jamie Lee Curtis.  William Shatner face mold mask guy with a knife.  What else you need?

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Bonus #ScaryMovieADayMonth related stuff

Nothing.  I haven’t watched Stranger Things Season 2 yet.

Welp, Happy Halloween!

*stays home sipping hot cocoa, calmly*

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