MTV, Please Come Back!

Dear MTV,

Where the fuck you at, b?  You hit us with the famous deadbeat dad line, “I’ll be right back” and hauled ass.  We ain’t seen you for a few years.  All we have are bittersweet “photo album-like” memories to reminisce over on the internet and VHS tapings.  It’s not enough.  What were you thinking?  Introducing us to MTV2 and MTV Tr3s was your little way of disguising your weak ass programming, huh?  Sure you tried to make a few comebacks in the past.  Yo! MTV Raps (online), Beavis and Butt-Head, and even Celebrity Deathmatch on MTV2 for a while.  But those never lasted.  They were swept right out from under our feet yet again and left with what?  Friendzone, WakeBrothers and reruns of The Hills.  Are you out of your fucking mind?!!  While you’re at it, just change the name of the station already!  Add an ‘F’ to the front, seriously! Don’t get me wrong, Jersey Shore WAS ok.  WAS.  It’s the same shit every season though and we caught on to that.  It’s over for that shit now.  Nobody gives a flying flaming bag of dog shit about what a pregnant Snooki & J-Woww do on their lonely journeys together either.  Or what club DJ Pauly D is hitting up every night.  The only thing that actually represents what the channel should be is AMTV and that shit comes on too early in the day.

You’re really gonna let BET have the upper hand on you on something?  They actually have a music countdown that airs every weekday.  Let’s face it, nobody watches it because it sucks ass.  BET is “Strugglelandia” and the only thing worth watching there is the Hip-Hop Awards and the opening performance at the BET Awards.  Nothing else.  But at least they have a countdown.  Would it hurt to air MTV Jams again from 7-8 PM on a nightly basis before new episodes of ‘whatever-the-fuck’ comes on?  Or how about TRL from 3-5 again? (the hour long TRL sucked)  You do realize that ain’t shit on TV at that time and your ratings would be much better if you didn’t repeat episodes of oompa loompas “doing” sex all goddamn day, right? *sigh*

Other than FUSE, you’re the only network that doesn’t need ratchet reality TV shows to entertain.  All you need is a music countdown in the middle of the day that airs live from Times Square, NYC “Daly” to satisfy us and actually live up to the name of the network.  MTV, don’t leave us like this.  Please come back!

                                                                                                Sincerely,

                                                                                                          Fan of 15 years

P.S.  Spring Break deserves to be aired strictly on TV.  Bouncing boobs and ass shakes don’t look as good on computer screens.

Until next time…  *walks like Shaggy into car wash to hide struggle tears*

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The Dopeness: TV Dramas

These shits right HERE?!!  Dopeness.  Keep in mind, these are dramas.  They contain a lot of emotion which naturally requires good acting.  That’s what draws me in.  Not the amount of deaths, sex scenes or adultery going on.  The acting that convinces you into thinking for a short moment that what’s going on in the screen is actually real.  I’m only mentioning shows I’m watching at the moment.  Let The Flames Begin!

Friday Night Lights

Obviously, this show is about football.  But then again, it’s NOT about football.  It’s about the lives of those who affect other people’s lives by playing football, coaching & cheer leading.  THEN it’s about football.  The acting ain’t all that except when it comes to Coach Taylor.  He’s the man.  It’s a good show.  You don’t have to like football to enjoy it.  It can be inspirational for anyone.  I’m only just finishing Season 1, so I can’t speak for the entire series.  So far, it was enough for me to want to watch all five seasons.  Also enough to make me want to be in a football team.  “CLEAR EYES!  FULL HEARTS!  CAN’T LOSE!”

The show ended in 2010, so it’s available in its entirety on Netflix.  WIN!

The Walking Dead

Zombie shows and movies never really satisfy me with anything other than zombies being dismembered and decapitated left and right.  That’s what i sat and watched the series premiere of The Walking Dead for.  And unexpectedly, I got MORE than that.  Along with great makeup, blood and guts everywhere… this show is carried by great actors.  The character development, what some might consider filler moments, is as good as the zombie killings.  The suspense, realism, and revelations in this show are fulfilling even when it doesn’t turn out how you wanted it to.  Not all questions are answered but what’s the fun in knowing everything?  Season 2 finished recently and it was CRAZY!  Can’t wait for the next.

As of now, only Season 1 is available on Netflix.

Grey’s Anatomy

Imagine someone’s life slipping away right in front of you.  And you have to find out why they’re dying, how to save them and how much time you have before it’s too late.  On top of that, your future job as a surgical resident depends on how you perform and handle the situation.  Then go through the same thing or worse the next day.  Being a doctor is NOT easy.  This show does a great job at portraying that.  It’s also good at glorifying their hectic schedules resulting in co-workers doing “the nasty” in the on-call rooms to relieve stress.  Oh yeah! This show is dope as fuck!  It’s humorous, tragic, educational and sexy at the same damn time!  Every mid-season and season finale is a butt clencher.  If this show was a rock band, they’d be named “Intensity In Ten Cities”.  Eight whole seasons, still going strong.

Seasons 1-7 available on Netflix.  MARATHON!

Breaking Bad

Just look at the picture.  Big ass containers filled with the purest crystal meth and a butt load of cash.  *Hails*  YOU’RE THE MAN, MR. WHITE!  EVERYTHING about this show is just perfection.  Before you go judging it by the picture, just don’t. Watch that shit!

Walter White’s job is to teach chemistry to a bunch of disinterested high school students.  After work, he goes to work….at a car wash.  This, along with a bunch of other bullshit, makes Mr. White realize how much his life sucks.  And then he was diagnosed with lung cancer.  The struggle came crashing down on this poor man.

I feel like I said too much already.  Just look at the picture.  Why does he look like a boss, you ask?  Well….just put Netflix on and start watching NOW.  The 1st 3 seasons are available.  It’s the father from Malcolm In the Middle for crying out loud!  Bryan Cranston is excellent!  That goes for the entire cast as well.  Season 5 begins tonight and my sphincter is tight with anticipation.  And don’t you even dare land on AMC when you’re flipping through channels later tonight.  You gotta watch from the beginning.

Breaking Bad is easily the best show on television.  No question.

There you have it.  The dopeness that I currently am subjecting myself to.  For the record, every one of these shows have given me some serious goosebumps.  The kind you get when you watch a blockbuster movie in IMAX.  … Yup.  Dopeness.

Alright guys.  Hope you take heed to the dopeness I’m trying to supply y’all with in confidence.

OUT!   *ghost rides whip into tornado*