Not much needs to be said except CONGRATULATIONS to LeBron James and the Cleveland Cavaliers! You did it!
Even though it never really left, I think it’s for real this time. Pro wrestling and/or Sports Entertainment is slowly becoming popular again. Sure, it will never be close to being as cool as it was in the 80’s and late 90’s. However, I’m starting to notice something here. Wrestling is slowly becoming hard to avoid.
TNA’s contract with SPIKE TV was not renewed but picked up by a new network that while is less known than SPIKE TV, is more accessible, Destination America. Also, there has been a buzz about this new soap opera style wrestling promotion based in LA that airs on the also new El Rey Network, called “Lucha Underground”. Then there’s the more influential company, causing the most buzz as usual, the WWE.
With the WWE Network being 8 months old, it’s possible that former fans have already gone back in time and relived all their favorite moments with their subscriptions, revitalizing their interest in “Sports Entertainment” and becoming hip to the current product. I know that’s how some celebrities and public figures like rapper Wale got back into it. He’s a HUGE fan again. Furthermore, the amount of time the WWE spends keeping the names of legends and Hall of Famers out there keeps the people who are not excited with the new roster coming back for more. Just this year, we saw an appearance by the now rehabilitated and sober, Jake “The Snake” Roberts, Hulk Hogan, The Rock, Stone Cold Steve Austin, Rowdy Roddy Piper, and so many more. Even the Ultimate Warrior rekindled his relationship with Vince McMahon and squashed all his beefs before he passed away.
The “Macho Man” Randy Savage, who was blackballed by the WWE for reasons that no one but the McMahon family can explain, factually, is finally being publicly acknowledged again by the company for his greatness and the legacy he left behind as a superstar with a new documentary about his life, which Macho Man fans have been waiting on for over a decade.
The most recent one, of course, is a man whom even after WCW was purchased by Vince McMahon, had refused to step foot in a WWE ring for as long as he lived. On Sunday night at Survivor Series, he made his WWE debut to everyone’s astonishment.
Sting! The face of WCW, the franchise! If you were conscious in the 90’s, you know who Sting is or at least, what he looks like. If you were under a rock or born too late in the 90’s, you definitely heard of him NOW. The news spread like wildfire on social media. There was no way you didn’t know about this. The same way it was trending on twitter, wrestling was trending in society. In real life. It certainly was trending in my little town. A little place called Washington Heights in New York City. A place where in the 23 years of my life, I’ve only seen 3 people wearing wrestling merch, which I spotted only this year. A place where the last wrestling promotional poster we saw around was a Wrestlemania X8 banner on the side of a city bus back in 2002. It’s making its rounds again. Wrestling is relevant to people again.
It first hit me when I went to the closest store to my house, this 24 hour Gourmet Deli, with my sister for a quick munchies run. We spent like 10 minutes picking delicious ass snacks, all while overhearing the clerk watch Monday Night RAW loudly on his phone. After we paid, my sister said, “He didn’t even look up. He was glued to that phone.” to which I replied, “That’s it. Wrestling is back.”
That was yesterday. Not even 24 hours later, I’m on my way back home from picking up some Whoppers from Burger King (Once again, food brought me to this conclusion). What I saw confirmed to me that wrestling is in fact relevant again is some way, shape, or form. Check this out.
Each parked car on this street either had a wrestler’s name or wrestling related terms on it. The whole street!
I got home and my first words to my sister were, “Wrestling is officially back.”
In case you didn’t know, which you probably didn’t, the WWE reached a milestone this week no show has ever reached. The “Longest Running Weekly Episodic TV Show without hiatus”, Monday Night RAW aired for the 1,000th time. That’s crazy. I mean think about it…for nearly 20 years, wrestling was on TV every single Monday without fail. Who would’ve thought? Vince McMahon GOTTA be a genius. Somehow he convinced the USA Network (and briefly Spike TV which was TNN at the time) to televise sweaty, half-naked dudes slamming each other & acting like they’re beating the crap out of one another. And occasionally bless our TV sets with hot athletic chicks in bikinis and sexy costumes. Not to mention, the great mistakes that come with live programming like funny botches and boob slips. Quite frankly, wrestling in general has lost a shit ton of viewers over the years because people grow up, catch on to the fakeness and just get turned off by it all. But I kid you not, the 3-hour spectacle that was RAW 1000 cancels all of that out. The shit was DOPE, son. Allow me to recap.
The show started with a montage of RAW moments. The happy moments, the sad moments. Beautiful opening. Take a look.
The crowd was amped! Soon after, Vince McMahon was welcomed to the ring. The 1st thing he did was thank the WWE universe. He wasted no time and immediately welcomed D Generation X t0 come out. Triple H and Shawn Michaels got their glow sticks waving and the they proceed to walk out to arguably the greatest wrestling theme ever. The show is fire already. They toy with the crowd for a short moment when Triple H says, “Hold on a sec…Didn’t there used to be more of us?” Out comes X-Pac and the New Age Outlaws. (“Road Dogg” Jesse James & “Bad Ass” Billy Gunn) in an army jeep with the cannon on it. Just like the good old days. They joke around a bit and get the crowd warmed up for the rest of the show.
Famous catchphrases, a ‘Pedigree’ and a ‘Sweet Chin Music’ were delivered.
Moving right along. Good ‘Ole J.R., Jim Ross returns for the millionth time but only this time……he had a goatee. LMAO! He looked hilarious. Anyway, he only did commentary during one match. A six-man tag team match: World Champion Sheamus, Rey Mysterio & Sin Cara Vs. Alberto Del Rio, Chris Jericho & Dolph Ziggler. Sheamus pinned Dolph Ziggler for the win. NEXT!
Charlie Sheen makes an appearance via Skype to share his thoughts on the show so far.
The next segment took place in the Divas’ dressing room where the Divas Champ Layla asks AJ if she was sure she wanted to marry Daniel Bryan later on in the show as scheduled. And then…another memorable moment. We got to see “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan, Rowdy Roddy Piper and….well, umm.
Remember how Mae Young gave birth to hand in segment a few years ago? Yea.
*gasping for air* The WWE is retarded for that.
Next thing I know, Dude Love was on my TV. Not Mankind, not Mick Foley, not Cactus Jack…Dude. Love. He put Mr. Socko to use, showed off his poor dance moves and dipped.
Next, Triple H & DX had a segment backstage with the lovely Trish Stratus. Good to see her back.
Jerry “The King” Lawler introduces Slick as the reverend for Daniel Bryan and AJ’s wedding. He was fun to watch. The wedding was dope. Think Triple H & Stephanie McMahon’s wedding a few years ago with a flipped script and a twist.
I loved it. Well, I love anything with AJ in it. Wit her cute ass…
Let’s just say it was Daniel Bryan’s worst nightmare.
It only got worse when The Rock walked down that ramp and hit that sumbitch with a Rock Bottom. Oh yeah. The People’s Champ, The Great One, The Brahma Bull, The jabroni beatin’, pie eatin’, trail blazin’, eyebrow raisin’, heart stoppin’, elbow droppin’, “Most Electrifying Man In All Of Entertainment”.
After a quick commercial break, the dopeness just kept coming. “The best there is, the best there was and the best there ever will be”, Bret “The Hitman” Hart comes out to introduce the next match. Christian defends his title against The Miz. The Miz becomes the new Intercontinental Champion. Nothing special, unless you’re a Miz fan who for 1 or 2 years watched him struggle to become relevant despise his main event victory against John Cena at Wrestlemania 27, retaining his WWE Championship belt. (Honorable Dope Mention: The Miz came out to “Hate Me Now” by Nas Ft. Puff Daddy in that match. Dopeness.)
Triple H came back out, by himself this time. He challenged Brock Lesnar to fight at Summerslam a while back and never got a response. Paul Heyman comes out and turns down the challenge and insults Triple H’s kids in the process.
Stephanie McMahon had enough. She went OFF on Heyman.
The boss’ daughter got what she wanted, as she always does. Paul Heyman cracked. Brock Lesnar will be fighting Triple H @ Summerslam.
Brock Lesnar comes out and all hell broke loose. He ended up getting fucked up though.
HHH wasn’t playing that shit.
Next, WWE Superstars speak on the turning point for the company, the Stone Cold/Vince McMahon feud.
Santino and Hornswoggle come out afterwards to give out wrestling plush dolls. I didn’t know “Brawler Buddies” were back but it reminded me that I had one as a kid. They were called “Bashin’ Brawlers” back then. I remember I had this one:
Wow. This whole show had been a dope ass road trip down memory lane so far.
But it was far from over. Howard Finkle came out to introduce Heath Slater. This guy had been getting beat up by legends for the past 2 months. Names like Cyndi Lauper, Rowdy Roddy Piper, Vader, Psycho Sid, Diamond Dallas Page, Bob Backlund, Animal from The Road Warriors and Rikishi. Oh yea, and Doink The Clown. But Doink got beat up. This time, Heath Slater challenged anybody to walk down that ramp and…surprise!, surprise!. LITA popped out!
And she brought the APA with her! Bradashaw hit Heath Slater with a mean Clothesline From Hell. Mean enough to make Ron Simmons say “DAMN!”
Fast forward to the next match, Kane walked out. His entrance was interrupted by a bunch of loser ass no name wrestlers and they wanted his fade. Kane was about to get jumped…and then, a gong. The loudest crowd pop of the night! The lights go out and out comes the Dead Man.
The Undertaker shows up to have his brother’s back. The Brothers Of Destruction finally reunite and they start choke slamming & tombstone-ing everything in unison. It’s about damn time!
SON! All the former wrestling fans rejoice!
Last but not least, John Cena Vs. CM Punk for the WWE Championship. John Cena won Money In The Bank this year but instead of cashing it in on an already battered opponent, he decided to set up a match. I don’t think Cena will ever not be a babyface wrestler. smh.
The match was pay-per view status. Good match. The referee was accidently pushed out of the ring and Big Show took advantage. He came out and knocked Cena out with his big ass fist. CM Punk was conflicted, he didn’t want to pin Cena because he knew it wasn’t right. But eventually, he came to his senses and realized his title was on the line. He dragged the ref in the ring and pinned Cena. Cena kicked out. He locked the STFU on Punk, when Big Show’s dumbass came and hit Cena. Match Over. Punk retains his title and Cena becomes the 1st wrestler to ever cash in the Money In The Bank briefcase and lose. Big Show continued to cave Cena’s chest in. CM Punk hesitated to help get him off of Cena, but The Rock didn’t. The Rock came flying down the ramp. He went on to ‘Layeth The Smacketh Down’. Gave big ass Big Show a spinebuster and went right into The People’s Elbow. CM Punk came in the ring and clothesline’d The Rock before he dropped the elbow. The crowd showed mixed emotions. CM Punk hits Rock with a Go To Sleep.
The crowd boos Punk and just like that…he turned heel. He became a bad guy in 30 seconds.
Only those who continue to watch RAW will get an answer to that. As for everybody else, I’m sure this episode was one of the best to watch since you’ve stopped watching 10+ years ago. It was enough to assure that there will never be a better all-around wrestling event quite like this one. If you still want to see this dopeness for yourselves,the re-run will air tonight on Mun2.
That’s enough wrestling talk. Rick Ross’ album just leaked, so i’m gonna go see what that’s about.
Peace out! *triple jumps into pool of mermaids*