Is Wrestling Officially Back?

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Even though it never really left, I think it’s for real this time.  Pro wrestling and/or Sports Entertainment is slowly becoming popular again.  Sure, it will never be close to being as cool as it was in the 80’s and late 90’s.  However, I’m starting to notice something here.  Wrestling is slowly becoming hard to avoid.

TNA’s contract with SPIKE TV was not renewed but picked up by a new network that while is less known than SPIKE TV, is more accessible, Destination America.  Also, there has been a buzz about this new soap opera style wrestling promotion based in LA that airs on the also new El Rey Network, called “Lucha Underground”. Then there’s the more influential company, causing the most buzz as usual, the WWE.

With the WWE Network being 8 months old, it’s possible that former fans have already gone back in time and relived all their favorite moments with their subscriptions, revitalizing their interest in “Sports Entertainment” and becoming hip to the current product.  I know that’s how some celebrities and public figures like rapper Wale got back into it.  He’s a HUGE fan again.  Furthermore, the amount of time the WWE spends keeping the names of legends and Hall of Famers out there keeps the people who are not excited with the new roster coming back for more.  Just this year, we saw an appearance by the now rehabilitated and sober, Jake “The Snake” Roberts, Hulk Hogan, The Rock, Stone Cold Steve Austin, Rowdy Roddy Piper, and so many more.  Even the Ultimate Warrior rekindled his relationship with Vince McMahon and squashed all his beefs before he passed away.

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The “Macho Man” Randy Savage, who was blackballed by the WWE for reasons that no one but the McMahon family can explain, factually, is finally being publicly acknowledged again by the company for his greatness and the legacy he left behind as a superstar with a new documentary about his life, which Macho Man fans have been waiting on for over a decade.

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The most recent one, of course, is a man whom even after WCW was purchased by Vince McMahon, had refused to step foot in a WWE ring for as long as he lived.  On Sunday night at Survivor Series, he made his WWE debut to everyone’s astonishment.

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Sting!  The face of WCW, the franchise!  If you were conscious in the 90’s, you know who Sting is or at least, what he looks like.  If you were under a rock or born too late in the 90’s, you definitely heard of him NOW.  The news spread like wildfire on social media.  There was no way you didn’t know about this.  The same way it was trending on twitter, wrestling was trending in society. In real life.  It certainly was trending in my little town.  A little place called Washington Heights in New York City.  A place where in the 23 years of my life, I’ve only seen 3 people wearing wrestling merch, which I spotted only this year.  A place where the last wrestling promotional poster we saw around was a Wrestlemania X8 banner on the side of a city bus back in 2002.  It’s making its rounds again.  Wrestling is relevant to people again.

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It first hit me when I went to the closest store to my house, this 24 hour Gourmet Deli, with my sister for a quick munchies run.  We spent like 10 minutes picking delicious ass snacks, all while overhearing the clerk watch Monday Night RAW loudly on his phone.  After we paid, my sister said, “He didn’t even look up.  He was glued to that phone.” to which I replied, “That’s it.  Wrestling is back.”

That was yesterday.  Not even 24 hours later, I’m on my way back home from picking up some Whoppers from Burger King (Once again, food brought me to this conclusion).  What I saw confirmed to me that wrestling is in fact relevant again is some way, shape, or form.  Check this out.

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Each parked car on this street either had a wrestler’s name or wrestling related terms on it.  The whole street!

I got home and my first words to my sister were, “Wrestling is officially back.”

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My 1st Voting Experience

Quick & easy.  Just like it’s supposed to be.  Just how them GBE boys will light this whole shit up if Obama loses.  Not that they even care.  But yea.  Speed dial.

Anyway, it was cold as shit this morning and the line to vote was dick & butt.  Can of sardines.  Luckily,  it wasn’t packed enough for the line to be sticking out the building when I got there.  So here’s what happened.

  • I waited in a line that made me feel I was coming out of there with government cheese & Corn Flakes.
  • The man in charge of my district was damn near Michael J. Fox, the way he was shaking.  I felt bad for his nervous system.
  • I immediately lost all sympathy for the old geezer when he misspelled my name on the card.  When have you ever heard of a nigga named “Angle”?  Tha FUCK!
  • Walked my ass to the private booth & filled in a bunch of bubbles for unfamiliar names.  Except for maybe like 3.  Which is still horrible.  (I never claimed to be into politics anyway.)
  • Scanned my sheet & handed the dude next to the machine my card & folder like if they were keys to a Bentley & he was the valet.
  • Walked out and noticed the line sticking out the building, snapped a pic, chuckled, & walked away to Jay-Z’s “PSA” with the utmost, morning “I just voted for my 1st time” swag.

As I walked away, I wondered “How can you be so sure about who you want to represent this nation if you can’t even read signs & stand in the proper lines?  Wow, these people are complete nincompoops”.  But what do I know?  I’m just a renegade who’s eyes glisten with hope at the thought of Obamacare like an anime cartoon.  Wait, can I still be a renegade even though I just voted?  Nah, right?  Blah.  Whatever.  Maybe, just maybe …. I can live a life a little less cautious and mosh at concerts without having to pretend my body is an item at an antique store.  “You break, you paaaay!” (Old Korean lady voice) Or should I say “blake” ….. hee hee hee.

I had no intentions of voting until last minute.  I just decided, why not?  I mean, I did watch all the debates.  Even though they were all pretty much the same shit.  A bunch of lying, polite ass rebuttals and a few jabs.  And Mitt Romney’s listening face.

Hilarious.

GO VOTE!  (Unless you don’t want to.  Fuck it.)
Peace, my nigs.  *rides donkey in African safari, tossing molotovs at elephants* (only figuratively)

Stoner’s Thoughts

Last week, I changed some money at a corner store and received a decorated dollar.  I laughed and imagined what mind state the previous owner of this dollar had to be in to do what he did with it.  Obviously, he must’ve been high.  You’ll see why I jumped to that conclusion.  So here’s how I envisioned the scenario through the “Stoner’s Thoughts”.

  • …………..
  • Where’s the menu?  Imma order a whole chicken.
  • ……………………….
  • …*burp* ……. that shit smells like chicken. Did I eat that already? …
  • Let me get the money ready for when the deliv……why is George Washington smiling at me?
  • I’m trippin’.  I needa wash my face.
  • I’m stuck.  Fuck it.  Maybe if I draw over his face out, he won’t smile at me no more.
  • There.  He don’t seem so happy now……OH! If I add S,T and a D to ‘One’…..

  • It works on the back too! AND it’s bigger! This is awesome…..

  • …………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
  • Yo, I’m bout to sleep like a king…ZzZzZzZzZz

I’m assuming this person ate their pillow in their sleep from the hunger because they never ordered the chicken in the 1st place.  Then bought TUMS  to cure a stomach ache with this dollar when they woke up.  And that’s how it ended up in my hands.

I’m about to use this single.

1.       *enters titty bar*

The Fuckery: Homeless Edition

” *Sobbing* AAAAHHHH!  I’m so embarrassed! *sniffles*  My baby has cancer and we don’t have money to eat!  Please!  *short sob*  If you have anything, please help us. *long annoying sob* ”

If I had a dollar for every time I heard this lame shit, I would be able to give it to them on the spot. FUCK OUTTA MY FACE!  Bitch, you know damn well you’re lying.  Where’s this baby, huh?  NOPE! Sorry.  Maybe if the baby was present you’ll get something from me.  And the baby doesn’t even have to have cancer.

Funny shit is, I had a bag of wings & fries in my hand and I said “Sorry.  I have nothing for you.”  I did the right thing.  Apparently, this fat bitch has been scamming people all week.  ALL.  WEEK.  In the same 8 block radius.  Doesn’t it ever occur to them that maybe changing location would be more effective?  LOOK AT THAT!  I’m better at being homeless than she is.  HA!  She never said she was homeless but it was obvious.  Looking like “Raggedy Rose-anne” and shit.

If you’ve been fooled before, don’t feel dumb.  Everybody has.  Just make sure it doesn’t happen again.

Don’t get me wrong.  There are legitimate ones out there that really need the help.  One day, I was in Papa John’s getting a pepperoni slice. (greatness)  A middle aged man walked up behind me and asked if I can spare some change because he was hungry.  I was feeling generous so I gave him 5 bucks.  He thanked me more than enough and ordered something on the spot.  That made me feel good because he didn’t lie.  He was really hungry, not itching for a bump of cocaine.  He was actually standing upright, relaxed.  Nothing about his appearance told me he was an addict or under the influence.

Next time someone comes up to you BEGGING for money, make sure you pay close attention and try to detect lies.  Or simply just avoid further conversation.  It’s up to you.  If you get the urge to help, open your eyes.  Observe how they approach you and others after you.  Usually, the ones that cut to the chase and ask for help calmly are the real deal.

Stop letting these “Raggedy Rose-annes” and “Raggedy Andy-Dicks” fool you.

FUCK em!

I’m ghost. *belly flops onto quicksand*