#ScaryMovieADayMonth 2017 (Days 1-10)

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Chucky, if you don’t get cho ass outta here, man… YOU KNOW WTF GOIN’ ON!  #ScaryMovieADayMonth is here!  Let’s waste no time.

Day 1: IT (1990)

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No need to write about this again. Read my thoughts here: Stephen King’s IT Retrospective

Day 2: IT (2017)

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Don’t feel like reading a full length post about a dancing clown stalking kids?  I’ll squeeze you into some OshKosh B’Gosh while you’re asleep and send his ass to your house.  Click the goddamn link.

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You don’t want those problems.

Day 3: Get Out (2017)

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Remember how you felt when you watched “Are You Afraid Of The Dark?” as a kid?  Yup.  I got that vibe watching this uncomfortable ass shit.  My LORD! this was a racial tension convention.  Predictability ruins movies, especially ones that spend all its time building up to an inevitable clusterfuck but Get Out is so original and brilliant, I don’t care.  Jordan Peele keeps it fresh enough to keep you invested and curious.  As far as the actors go, you can never go wrong casting LaKeith Stanfield and Daniel Kaluuya is outstanding!  This was already a fact but after Get Out, it’s super facts.  He keeps coming with it.  Incredible actor!  This movie is good enough to buy AFTER you already watched it.

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Day 4: Cult Of Chucky (2017)

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Chucky movies will always be enjoyable to an extent because we love Chucky and we can’t get enough of him.  He’s hilarious and his one-liners are classic.  That’s sort of my only problem with Cult of Chucky.  I wanted more Chucky!  His scenes were worth the watch alone, I just wanted more.  That’s it.  He’s what keeps us wanting more of these movies more than anything.  However, this franchise is starting to get some of the charm it had in the original trilogy.  Child’s Play fanatics might want to stick around for the credits, hint hint.

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Day 5: Life (2017)

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Is it just me or this movie is hard to hear for the first 20 minutes?  I had to rewind like 80 times to catch dialogue.  Either my audio was off or my ears were shot from the Paramore show the night before.  Once I threw the captions on, it was smooth sailing from there.  I really enjoyed it.  Being stranded anywhere is frightening.  Being stranded in outer space is fucking hopeless and it’s thrilling to watch.  The panic is 10 times worse and the stakes are far more drastic.  This movie is reminiscent of a little classic from the 70’s you may know of.

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Day 6: It Follows (2016)

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So….I didn’t take notes.  I thought maybe I would make sense of it over time but here I am not knowing what the fuck it all meant.  I caught on to the “what” really early on, I just never got the “why”.  The final scene only confused me more.  With that said, I don’t think I would enjoy it the same if I wasn’t confused.  To me, that’s what makes It Follows worth watching.  One of the best things about watching movies is the talk about it as soon as it ends.  Not everyone will appreciate this movie but everyone will feel the need to have a discussion after.  It’s one of those.

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Day 7: Lights Out (2016)

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Lights Out had its moments.

  • Decent jump scares: Check.
  • Protagonist that looks like Avril Lavigne: Check.
  • Laughable moments: Check.
  • Two actresses that can pass as mother and daughter in real life: Check.
  • Underwhelming feeling when the credits rolled: Check.

It was meh.  Can’t really expect a short film that went viral on the internet to impress anyone when it’s made into a full length feature film.  Even if it’s not, it will seem like a money grab.

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Day 8: The Autopsy of Jane Doe (2016)

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Falling asleep mid-movie always sucks.  It takes you out of it.  Even when it’s not the movie’s fault, it’s hard to enjoy the rest later.  It was a long weekend, I couldn’t keep it together, I was done.  I remember thinking, “I like where this is going” right before I passed out.  I still liked where it was going when I picked it back up, but not as much.  By the end, I was a little disappointed overall but I still don’t know if it was the movie or the nap.  I’ll blame the nap because I love crime mystery drama shit so….whatever.  The point is… autopsies are interesting.  Whether or not the ending is good, everything before that is good enough. Great, even.  Don’t watch movies when you’re sleepy.

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Day 9: Raw (2016)

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The title alone tells you it’s about to get weird.  Why is it called Raw?  Well, here’s the synopsis I pulled from IMDB; “When a young vegetarian undergoes a carnivorous hazing ritual at vet school, an unbidden taste for meat begins to grow in her.”  Before I read that, I found out this is a French-Belgian film so I was ready for weird.  Foreign films tend to push boundaries moviegoers in America don’t even believe exist for them to be pushed.  Watch movies produced in other countries, you’ll see what I mean.  It’s just different. I can’t begin to explain what I saw because it’s too weird to briefly explain.  I’ll just leave it at…it’s just different.

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Day 10: Clown (2014)

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We all like a good comeback.  When something that appears to be unsalvageable redeems itself before it’s too late, it’s given more credit than it originally would have had if it wasn’t a disaster at all.  Clown managed to entertain me after some hilariously ridiculous moments early in the movie had me convinced I couldn’t get jiggy with this shit.  Great shots, great makeup, one character had one of the greatest slips in movie history.  She busted her ASS, you can tell it was real.  Not the best movie at all, not even close, but I had fun.

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Days 1-10, over.  See y’all in like a week.

*lights self on fire and leg drops tub full of dynamite*

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