#ScaryMovieADayMonth Mothafucka! Days 21-31

 

Hurricane Sandy was a tragic bitch.  That heaux not only ruined lives, but she TOOK lives.  I can’t even begin to imagine how devastating it must feel to no longer have a home to go back to.  It’s sad and I’m extremely sympathetic towards the people who lost family, lost homes by water, lost homes by fire & the people who are sitting at home right now with no light or heat as the days get colder.  I truly am.  In addition to that, I heard Halloween has been postponed and rescheduled for Monday, November 5th.  There goes the spirit of Halloween.  I toyed around with the idea of extending #ScaryMovieADayMonth and ending it on the NEW Halloween date.  But I decided that if I DO watch horror movies between today & the 5th, it won’t be counted on the list.  So today is officially the last day of #SMADM.   Some of the best AND some of the worst movies on the entire month list are in this bunch right here.  Let’s get it crackin’!  Here are days 21-31:

 

Day 21:  The Shrine (2010)

 

This movie was pure gar-baj for way too long.  Although, once the suspense and horror started picking up, it was pretty decent.  Especially for a private independent company funded Canadian movie or whatever the fuck this was.  I guess I would deem this movie “ok”.  Still don’t recommend anything but a few main scenes which can most likely be viewed on the glorious site that is Youtube.  So go right ahead and check those out.  Just make sure you scroll right on by this shit when you see it pop up on your Netflix Instant screen.  Unless you wanna see shit like this in HD:

Day 22:  Osombie: The Axis Of Evil (2012)

 

This one HERE tho……… oh. my. Gawd.  Thee worst movie I have EVER ……. EVER seen!  This one was my fault completely.  I saw how wack it looked, I imagined how wack it could be, & I KNEW this piece of skunk shit had no Wikipedia page.  No Wikipedia page should have closed the deal.  I should have taken the idea of watching it & soccer kick that shit into the Hudson River.  But I went right ahead and pressed play anyway.  This shit here exceeded any expectation of wackness I could have ever imagined.  Boy, do I feel like the dumbest motherfucker on earth?  It’s like touching the pot after momma said it was hot.  Check this out though… After I watched this, I read a review that said this movie sucked.  But it also suggested that it’s good “turn-off-the-brain” fun.  FUCK. OUTTA. HERE.  Fam, the deaths looked infinitely fake, the jokes were not funny enough for an 8 year old, & to top the feces sundae with waxed dingleberries, O-fucking-sombie wasn’t even seen until the end!  After the intro, he disappeared for what felt like the entire movie!  Why else would anybody watch this trash?!  Nobody gives a rancid necrophilic fuck about these characters and their faggot ass relationships.  GOD!

 

 

Day 23:  Quarantine (2008)

 

Why did I put this movie off for so many years?  I don’t remember the trailer much but I never forgot about this picture.  And I never will.  Maybe it’s because this movie is one of the best modern horror films I have seen to date.  Definitely top 5 horror movies of the 21st century.  I don’t care if certain things don’t make sense or how many times the characters contradict themselves.  The truth is….shit happens.  And when it does, nobody is thinking about shit but “get me the fuck out of here” and “i don’t wanna die”.  It’s pretty simple.  And I simply watch horror movies to see and feel horror.  Quarantine embodied that.  Not necessarily just in a gory sense but every sense.  Suspense, vulnerability, death, limitations, desparation, confusion, mutation … I can’t remember what else.  But I do remember this shit was fire.  I would and WILL watch this one again.

 

Day 24:  Friday The 13th: Killer Cut Extended Edition (2009)

One thing about remakes:  Typical.  Some movies take different routes with familiar elements, some just cast current babyface stars and repeat the same thing.  Which is cool, I guess.  I only had one problem with this one.  I’m fully aware that I watched the extended version, but I researched the differences from the theatrical version and the scenes were just longer for no significant reason.  Some scenes just were changed in sequence.  The beginning was made in typical slasher movie fashion.  Drunk friends sitting around making piss drinking jokes, using the word “fish” as another term for pussy and of course, the fakest boobs Michael Bay & the casting crew can find.  Which is expected anyway.  Sex scenes are expected as well.  But this shit was entirely too long.  Again, I know I watched the long version but the regular one was long as fuck too.  Mad unnecessary.  The shit was basically softcore porn.  Ironically, “Brooklyn We Go Hard” was playing in the background while they got down & dirty.  I guess they DID go kinda hard for that Cinemax type sex scene.  Hard, softcore coitus, b.  Coitus = ass ramming.  For you simpletons.  All in all, good traditional fun with Jason Voorhees.

 

 

Day 25:  Book Of Shadows: Blair Witch 2 (2000)

 

 

I was young when the 1st one came out.  And I nearly shit my pants when I saw it.  So i’m not sure if this one wasn’t as scary to me because i’m older or because this one wasn’t filmed as a Handycam POV.  Not comparing it to the original, it was good.  All the confusion caused by ghosts possessing bodies is pretty cool and interesting enough to keep you from checking how much time is left in the movie every 15 minutes.  I just kind of wish I saw this when it came out.  I would probably like it more and fear shit like this.  I still remember wanting to see it but being too scared to every time I saw the billboard poster over the KFC that once existed around my way.  RIP beloved automatic door system equipped KFC.  (Homeless dudes ALWAYS opened the door for people.)  But yea, movie was iight.

 

Day 26:  Halloween: Resurrection (2002)

Excerpt from a “Halloween: H2O” review

It’s not the greatest horror film there has ever been but there’s a lot of fun to be had in its 86 minute runtime and I can definitely think of worse ways to spend a gloomy, autumnal evening; watching Halloween: Resurrection for example.

Why couldn’t I have read this BEFORE I watched Resurrection?  Day 26 wasted on a movie that’s straight buns. Trash dookie.  Feces sandwich.  Day 26 hasn’t gone to waste like this since Diddy dropped all the Making The Band artists.  Why did I think watching a scary movie with Busta Rhymes and Tyra Banks in it was a good idea?  Not even a comedy.  I could watch the entire Halloween series and skip over this one with no problem at all, and I have OCD.  That’s enough validation to grab this movie & pull up a 3-point range Kobe Bryant fade-away jumper in the triddash if you ask me.

Day 27:  The Omen (1976)

Classic.  Despite having less technological advances, 70’s & 80’s horror movies are just BETTER!  It’s like they had less to work with so they focused more on creepy mannerisms, vibes, & music.  And less on all the craziness.  A simple suicide by noose is enough.  I loved this movie.  Nothing special, but that’s what makes it special.  To me. It’s just pure DIABLO.  The music made for this movie is still haunt people today.  Fucking creepy ass music, gawd.  Matter fact, do me a favor.  Just press play and read the rest of this blog with this shit playing in the background.  Here you go:

 

“Sanguis Bibimus!  Corpus Edimus!”  I’m not gonna translate that satanic shit for y’all.  Google it if you’d like.  The funny shit is, the scariest part isn’t even in the song.  In the movie, they just have a woman chanting those 4 words between scenes & shit. LMAO!  This movie and The Exorcist back-to-back in one night?  Forget about it.  Need diapers on deck, g.  I’m telling y’all.  Little kids and old people are the evilest.

 

 

Day 28:  The Stuff (1985)

 

This shit was retarded.  The little kid is a hater and there’s just ice cream oozing all over the floors and walls.  I laughed.  But I liked it.  It was very 80’s.  It was weird as fuck when the mutations started.  Too weird.  I like weird.

Day 29:  The Thing (1982)

 

Once again, 80’s.  But this one was a little more advanced somehow.  Or is it that John Carpenter is the man? … Yea, that.  It might just have been his ability to make it look advance.  I have no clue how they did it but this movie had cooler special effects than a lot of movies today.  That’s why this one is critically acclaimed.  One of the best horror films of all time.  I realized that when I suddenly felt the urge to youtube scenes from the 1951 original, watch the remake that came out recently & call my dad to ask him if he still has the video game.  I would always see it on the dresser and ignore it.  I was oblivious to the awesomeness while he kept all the fun to himself.  LOL!

 

 

Day 30:  Poltergeist II: The Other Side (1986)

 

 

I wasn’t planning on watching any of the sequels until I was told “No, dude….they’re all good.”  And even though IMDB said otherwise, I went for it.  I agreed.  Well, I haven’t seen the 3rd yet.  But i’m sure i’ll enjoy it.  Why? …. That’s right, kids!  Because it’s 80’s!  You just can’t beat the 80’s, bro.  It’s not like these sequels are all title.  They’re actual sequels.  Same cast (for the most part), progressive storyline, and connections.  I love shit like this.  Once again, the creepiest element in scary movies is used in this one.  Old people.  The “Beast” is scary as fuck.  He looks 100.  But at the time, he was only like 59 or 60.  He died soon after the movie of stomach cancer.  That might explain why he already looked dead.  After the movie, I did my routine fact dig-up research as I do with every movie and found out he was born in Washington Heights.  Now i’m haunted f or life thinking “What if his spirit still wanders around?  What if he lived in my apartment?”   This is the scariest old man i’ve ever seen & the motherfucker was born here.  But that’s what I wanted out of #ScaryMovieADayMonth.  To be petrified.

 

 

Day 31: The Fog (1980)

 

 

” Just one more.  One more movie before 12.”  … Didn’t like it.  I’m gonna cut it some slack because it came out in 1980 which means it was filmed in the 70’s.  When I see a movie was released in the 80’s I have all these expectations.  But I have to consider how good this movie looked for a 70’s movie.  And that the idea of a fog traveling against the wind filled with vengeful ghosts was probably WAY scarier at the time of its release.  I can’t say this movie is good because Carpenter made it between Halloween & The Thing, 2 masterpieces.  So yea.  I’ll say it was ok.

 

Bonus #ScaryMovieADayMonth related stuff:

-Texas Chainsaw Massacre: Family Portrait Revisited (1988)

A documentary on the 1974 original.  Interesting stuff.

-Nightmares In Red, White & Blue: The Evolution of the American Horror Film (2009)

The title says it all.  And that it was.  Great documentary.

 

I did it!  I watched a scary movie every single day without fail in the month of October to keep the spirit of Halloween floating way longer than it usually floats.  It should be like this every year.  Which is why i’m planning on doing this again next year.  Maybe I’ll watch all Freddy Krueger & Jason Voorhees next time.  Or split the month in categories.  I don’t know yet.  I do know that I’ll premeditate the next.   Welp, I won’t lose the spirit until November 5th so i’ll be watching scary shit until then.  They just won’t be listed.

 

As long as when I watch them, I don’t look like this:

 

But like this:

 

 

 

C’mon guys!  Let’s piss & shit our underwear with fear!

 

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!  *crushes & lines up candy corn on glass table*

#ScaryMovieADayMonth Mothafucka! Days 11-20

 

Ok.  Let’s just get this rollin’ like I was while watching most of these shits.

 

Day 11: Hostel: Part II (2007)

 

Great movie.  Can’t remember the 1st movie but I sure as hell don’t remember enjoying it as much as this one.  I’m almost 100% sure this one was more intense.  Fucking bloodbath…LITERALLY.  Bitch showered in someone else’s heart juice.  What a mutt.  (Not a spoiler.)

Day 12: Hostel: Part III (2011)

 

 

You know what this is?  It’s pretty much Saw: Las Vegas except there’s no mind games.  It’s just people being captured and killed in different ways.  Not saying there’s no twist, but the movie doesn’t revolve around clues and trickery or …whatever.  I don’t know.  All I know is: Sick fuckheads place wagers on death choices and scenarios.  Halfway through the movie, I learned something that depreciated my perception of the movie and my hope for it to end well.  This shit went straight to DVD.  And to top the feces cake off with a little hint of ass blood….It’s not even directed by Eli Roth.  I was discouraged for the rest of the movie.  It turned out to be ok.  But it lacked compared to the last.  I just can’t quite put my finger on what was missing.  If the rumor of part 4 being in pre-production is true, Eli Roth is gonna need to reclaim his franchise before it becomes wack.  Ew, big greasy roaches.

 

Day 13: The Last Exorcism (2010)

 

To me, this movie was fucking entertaining…but not in a horrifying way.  It was just brilliant.  It reminded me of The Office.  The camera focus, the humor, the awkward side eyes.  It was just a great movie about a Reverend who doesn’t even believe in what he preaches and exercises.  It’s just a job to him.  He has one more “exorcism” to perform and he’s done with all of it.  Simple.  I recommend this one.  Even for people who don’t like horror films.  This one was my favorite of the bunch.  That’s a shocker to me being that I think no exorcism movie can touch the 1973 original.  I still strongly believe that…but this movie is just different.  It stood out to me.

 

Day 14: Scream 4 (2011)

 

 

I loved this because I hadn’t revisited any Scream movie for more than a decade, yet I knew what was going on.  The film did a great job at reminding the audience of what happened in the 1st 3 without recapping.  The intro was fresh, the ending was expected but still unpredictable.  It was obvious something crazy was gonna happen, I just couldn’t call it at all and then it just happened.  This movie was really good.  All the nostalgia this came with was good enough.  This installment of the series was still as fresh as the rest. ” New decade, new rules”.

 

Day 15: A Nightmare On Elm Street (2010)

 

 

This one’s cool too. Although, it is a remake.  So it’s pretty much the same movie, for the most part, but with the advantage of technology.  The shit that pissed me off about this the most is that it’s not memorable.  I didn’t know it until I was looking through my ticket stub collection a few days later to learn that I actually went to see this one at the movies.  So why the fuck didn’t I remember AT ALL?  Not even after the movie was over.  I thought I just saw a movie for the 1st time.  I’m still perplexed.  Did I fall asleep at the movies?  Well, no.  Because I’m sure I haven’t done that since I was a kid.  Did I go with someone I wasn’t supposed to, so I blocked it out?  I have no clue.  The 1 part that was sort of familiar was in the fucking trailer so it threw me off.  I’m sure of one thing though….nobody gives a raw “Blue Waffle” fuck so i’ll just move it right along.  (The picture below appears to be the result of a woman being pissed about having blue waffles and stabbing it repeatedly.)

 

Day 16: Slither (2006)

 

This shit here is retarded.  Fuck this movie.  It’s kind of funny, but not funny enough.  It’s just nasty and stupid.  NEXT!

 

Day 17: Seed Of Chucky (2004)

 

 

I heard of comedy horrors.  But this is pure comedy.  Laugh-out-loud comedy.  I was dying the whole time.  It was intentional too.  Don Mancini must’ve figured out that Chucky’s sense of humor really resonates with the fans. Made room for more jokes to keep our attention.  We all know how horror movies can be such a drag at times.  Almost like this blog is sort of a drag.  I’ll just speed this up a bit.

 

Day 18: Red State (2011)

 

 

Sick religious zealots believe gays deserve to die.  So they capture them and you know the rest.  More action than horror.  Still very horrifying.  Good movie.  Different.

 

Day 19: Teeth (2007)

 

 

Bitch got pussy teeth.  Boys lose their manhood. … Get it?

 

 

Day 20: Devil (2010)

 

 

Notice how the pictures says “From The Mind Of M. Night Shyamalan”.  All this means is that FINALLY, someone went up to him and said, “Just give me your ideas and I’LL make it, you bitch ass nigga.”  And just like that, the only M. Night Shyamalan that’s actually good is born.

 

 

Well, there you have it.  Days 11-20.  Almost at the finish line.

 

Fuck this.  *horn grab piggy back rides blindfolded Satan*

#ScaryMovieADayMonth Mothafucka! Days 1-10

Yes!  It is.  It’s October and it has been for 10 days now.  I’ve always liked Halloween because the thought of little kids being frightened to the point of having to change underwear & being traumatized for a few hours has always brought joy to my life. Oh yea, and when they cry from discomfort.

But I haven’t celebrated it the traditional way since I was like 14.  My pores have not let a bead of struggle mask sweat escape my face or gotten a costume wedgie for 7 years now and as wack as it sounds to not take advantage of corner stores making it rain on midget Power Rangers and sexy Slutty Nurses with free candy, I’m quite content (cue Soul IV Real song).  You see, I’m an old soul. I value tranquility and shit.  So I just take a step back and let those who don’t have cavities yet happily and unknowingly take a shot at joining the family.  The “Fuck, I have a fucking cavity, I wish I hadn’t eaten all them candies on Halloween” family.  But then there’s a problem.  I still need the fear factor that strangers dressed in shit that in no way represents their true identities, blending in with everyone else gives me.  It just sucks being a thug all the time, you know?  I want to feel vulnerable again.  I want to be intimidated & taken off my gangsta ass high horse.

(News flash!  I’m not a thug and you clearly suck at detecting sarcasm.)

SO! … To keep the spirit of Halloween alive in my heart, I decided to attempt to STOP my heart everyday with a bunch of scary ass horror movies.  One a day to be exact.  As much as I would love to re-watch movies that actually scared me as a kid like “The Exorcist” and “The Blair Witch Project“, for the most part I want to use this month to try new movies and old ones I never watched.  I still might watch a few favorites though.  And of course after 10 days, I have yet to see one that makes me wrap myself tight in my blanket and sleep with the bathroom light on.  I’m such a G. *side eye*

I’m in no way saying that these movies weren’t good.  It’s just difficult to be scared of em since my Dad ruined it for me when I was like 4.  (In Spanish): “Angel, keep in mind…that’s not real blood, it’s slightly watery corn starch with red food coloring.  None of this is real.”

Anyway, I’ll just briefly run down how my October aka “Scary Movie A Day Month” has gone so far.  Here’s Days 1-10.

Day 1: Paranormal Activity 3 (2011)

Nothing much to say here.  Except…it’s Paranormal Activity.  Every PA is better than the others in a sense.  I like this one because it was set in the 80’s, so boring scenes became fun when I was suddenly on a hunt to find something that might’ve not existed in the 80’s.  And pointing out the things that WERE was just as fun.  I KNOW they payed a grip for Teddy Ruxpin though.  Unless someone brought theirs from home.  But yea, it was cool. The scariest part, for me,  had nothing to do with demons.  It was the old bitches.

Day 2: The Devil Inside (2012)

Old bitches are just fucking scary!  Which is why I saw the trailer for THIS movie and said, “Yea, that one oughta loosen my sphincter and make a mess”.  Boy, was I wrong.  My shit was nicely secured and didn’t even send me a sign.  It’s a “documentary”.  But I have a feeling I got the “document-itis” cuz it was just doo doo.  Besides the 2 or 3 scenes this movie offers that are actually worth watching, there’s nothing worth watching.  i don’t know how else to word it.  The ending was different but unfulfilling.  No ass vomit was splattered during the viewing of this film.

Day 3: Poltergeist (1982)

Classic for plenty of reasons.  Although, I wouldn’t have enjoyed it as much if “Scary Movie 2” hadn’t completely spoofed the shit out of this movie in various ways.  Still good.  Last 20 minutes are intense enough to make up for the rest of the movie if it’s not satisfying enough for you.  I can’t lie, i was waiting for the clown to choke a bitch with his over-sized trouser snake.

Day 4: The Descent (2005)

Starts slow.  Picks up at about the 35-40 minute mark.  Holds a momentum, and ends with a head scratcher.  The ending is deep and requires some thinking.  Oh but wait a minute!  I watched the UK version.  The US version basically takes away the thinking part and leaves you hanging in order to be able to continue the story with a fucking sequel. Fucking great!  Way to ruin a perfectly solid movie.  Whatever, the US version ending is like every typical horror movie ending.  But that’s why, to me, it sucked ass compared the UK version.  Anywho, as you can see in the picture below, bitch tripped and fell in a pool of blood.  Kinda looks like a sewer if you make believe she’s not there.

In case you didn’t know, I have mild OCD (not really).  So naturally, I decided to see what the fuck the sequel was for.

Day 5: The Descent Part 2 (2009)

*Sigh*  It was cool.  The action didn’t take as long to heat up, a few cool mutilations and WHADDYA KNOW?!  A SHIT ending!  Dammit!  It’s like they do it on purpose.  As entertaining as the rest of the movie was, the ending was stupid enough for me to wish this whole sequel away, seriously.  I would have preferred for the UK version of the 1st to stand alone than to have a misleading ass sequel that takes you for a rollercoaster ride only to unbuckle the safety belts and derail as soon as it reaches the highest peek at top speed.

Day 6: The Human Centipede 2 (Full Sequence) (2011)

This fucking film here. SMFH!  This is probably the most disgusting movie I’ve ever seen in my entire life.  The thing about it is…the human centipede isn’t even the most disgusting part.  Sewing lips to buttholes isn’t even the worst part.  (Although, a staple gun is used in this one.)  Besides, “ATM” is not that unusual these days anyway. …. I’m kidding.  It’s not like ass eaters eat shit, I know.  Anyway, the psychological torture I went through watching this shit was unbelievable.  I don’t let things get to me at all and at a certain point, I was legitimately ready to just turn it off and call it a night .  I feel my neck stiffening & my brain swelling up just thinking about it.  Ugh.  Be careful what you wish for, guys.  I wanted to watch something that scared me and was nasty.  And that’s what I got….but to the 20th fucking power!  This motherfucker is demented, yo.

Day 7: Apollo 18 (2011)

This movie is supposedly a bunch of footage of astronauts in the 70’s landing on the moon and…well, I don’t wanna spoil it.  I kept in mind that this is actual footage to scare myself and it kind of worked.  I was all into it.  But this is not one those movies that you watch with a Monster Energy Drink® as your choice of beverage.  You gotta be tired enough to want nothing more than to sit down and attentive enough to stay awake.  Movies that are accompanied by a website to further push the story isn’t a new concept.  But in this case, …. let’s just say I found myself reading about Richard Nixon and government cover ups and how the US government secretly have some knowledge of what’s on the moon besides rocks and shit.  Like “moon herpes”.  Oops,  was that a spoiler?  Sorry guys.  The point is … their website is freakishly realistic and I was spooked.

Day 8: Insidious (2010)

Fam, fuck this movie with an Aids dick.  I’m pissed.  It wasn’t horrible but it was nowhere near fantastic.  The best part was the little kid falling from the ladder.  That boy busted his shit! LMAO!  And what the fuck was up with the demon?  He was basically Darth Maul on bath salts.  He didn’t have his own identity til like the end.  I mean, ok.  It was so bad, it was funny.  So I guess it IS worth watching with the right people.  But the fact still remains.  This movie should be rated TD – Trash Dookie.

Day 9: Thir13en Ghosts (2001)

Besides realizing that I have seen more than enough of this movie in the past on the SyFy channel (formerly known as Sci-Fi, which it still is, only written in a gay way) AFTER watching it whole, it was ok.  It just wasn’t my cup of tea.  Like, why the fuck would you cast Rah Digga in ANY movie?  Horror movies do NOT require ratchetness.  She tried toning it down, but when the ghosts pop up, her ghetto demeanor just exudes through her pores.  I gotta admit though, the deaths were fucking awesome!  Very snazzy.  But I hate the PG-13 feel.  The film score makes you forget it’s rated R.  The only reminder of this being an R rated film was the nudity.  Two words:  Ghost Tits.

Day 10: Stigmata (1999)

And then there’s the crap I subjected myself to yesterday.  I’m sure this movie is accepted by many people.  But from the bottom of my heart, get this shit the fuck outta here, b.  I mean, how are you going to portray an exorcism without having the possessed chick blurt out outlandish obscenities at the priests about sex or demonic shit?  Shit was the weakest exorcism ever.  Idk if it was because it was interrupted or because it was a corrupt Catholic priest… I don’t know WHAT the fuck was going on.  I didn’t care enough.  I can’t stand Jesus-y horror movies. Jesus ain’t scary, nigga!  He’s only scary if he was a stranger sitting next to you on the bus, word to Joan Osborne.

This movie had 4 memorable moments.

  1. The train scene where the priest asks the Frankie, the protagonist, “May I help you?” and the demon had already taken over her body and she says, “No one can help me now.  I’m fucked.” & proceeds to rip the cross off a nun’s neck.
  2. The part where she beats up the priest, throws him through a glass door and repeatedly slices her own arms with a knife all because he didn’t wanna thrust her vaginal walls.  I never seen a man be so against beating cheeks and on the other hand, a woman so desperate to make a deposit in her meat wallet.  But we can’t expect a priest to fuck an atheist possessed by a demon.  We just can’t.
  3. The room on fire looked pretty cool.
  4. And last but certainly not least – because it was the only thing that got me to react physically – her fucking sandals, b.  When the camera panned to her footwear, I felt my nuts doing chin ups in my scrotum.  I laughed so loud and hard.  Just LOOK at her feet, buzzin’! …

Platform chancletas.  LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Welp, there you have it.  “Scary Movie A Day Month” Days 1-10.

Hope I have inspired you all to face the fact that it’s getting nippy outside and watching a movie in the dark wrapped in your blanket with munchies late at night isn’t a bad idea in the least.  Especially horror movies in October.  Gotta go and continue my festivities with Day 11.

I’ll holla at y’all in 10 days for the 11-20.  Peace!

*crawls in dead cow carcass and catapults from human slingshot*

Important message brought to you in part by Big Ang.

ATTENTION friends, family & acquaintances!

I would like to convey an important message at this moment… I’m not doing this to be trampled by opinions, but to let you all know that i’m serious about the decision I am about to make.

As of October 3rd, 2012 ….. I, Angel Cabrera, vow to refrain from ever taking another sip of an alcoholic beverage. EVER. This is it. I will not let anybody try to HINT towards even BEGINNING to try to convince me to take a drink. I’m eliminating it COMPLETELY. I have my personal reasons. This is not an attempt to try to appear holier than thou.

With that said, I encourage you to continue to be yourselves & to accept those who might have different views than you in being themselves.

Thanks for reading this. Carry on.