Olympic Gold

Oh man.  The Olympics.  This shit is golden.  There’s so much going on.  So much competition.  So much pride and honor…….So much to laugh at.

It’s hard to keep up, there’s so much going on.  Even for the country you’re rooting for.

Randumb:  “Rooting” means “fucking” in Australia

The only way to stay interested is to watch with a different mentality.  Other than the Brazilian Women’s Volleyball team looking fine, there’s only one other way to enjoy the Olympics.  Laugh.  Everything in life is better when you laugh.  Well, except diarrhea.  But you get what I mean.

Athletes falling, tripping, missing landings.  At times, it could be so intense that you don’t want to laugh at the participants crying after a mistake that cost them the gold.  But you just gotta pull out that inner asshole that everybody possesses knowingly or unknowingly and just crack up.  Come on, you can do it!  You know you’re asshole on the low.  Everybody knows it’s the way to go. (See Silent Savagery)

Now, I’m not a complete asshole.  For instance, I don’t laugh when a gymnast fails a landing and they appear to have injured something.  I give it up.  Well, the replay MIGHT get me sometimes.  But when I see them getting carted off, crying in pain but still smiling and waving, I feel for them and respect their bravery.  It sucks that all of their hard training went to shit, but they tried until they couldn’t anymore which is admirable.  EVERYTHING else makes my heart stop temporarily from rolling in the aisles though.  The way boats are rowed in those races makes me chuckle.  The struggle to score in Water Polo makes me grin.  The ass whoppings USA is giving the rest of the countries in basketball makes me pump my fist and let out an evil villain laugh.  I love it.

OH! What about when Japan bought Ukraine’s medal?

LMFAO!

Ok.  Fine.  They didn’t BUY it.  They appealed the judges’ decision and succeeded.  They were in fourth place.  Ukraine had the bronze, Britain had the silver.  Homeboy from Japan’s Men’s gymnastics team whipped out a few Benjis and the rest is history.  Now, Japan takes home silver, Britain bronze and Ukraine…well Ukraine got the fuck up out of there with nothing to show for their effort

and this face:

It wasn’t a funny situation for some.  But I found myself having to look for something to dry my face before my beard got wet while my 1-pack convulsed.  It was a challenge.  I couldn’t see with all the tears waiting in line for their turn to trickle down my cheek gracefully.  *sigh*  What a moment.

Olympic Comedy Gold.

Let’s all be semi-assholes collectively and enjoy these Summer Olympic games more by laughing.  Stop mean mugging the TV all the time, looking all concentrated.  Let it out.  Unless you have diarrhea.  You might want to let that pass first.

Signing out.  *floods Mentos factory with Coke*

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