So I’m chillin’ in the living room, dodging this 90+ degree NYC weather, watching Sportscenter……when I see the U.S. Olympic Men’s Basketball team walking in to their 1st official practice. YO! Spain, France, Tunisia, & Argentina……..just give up, mothafuckaz. You don’t have a chance.
Now, Dwight Howard, Dwyane Wade & Chris Bosh are not participating this year. Howard because of his back, Wade because of his left knee, & Bosh because he has multiple colon cleansing appointments and slumber parties to host dressed in drag. Or it’s because he suffered an abdominal strain in the 2nd round of the playoffs against the Pacers and he needs rehab. But, come on. Let’s be serious.
I’m witnessing this plethora of awesome players walking together and it amps me up. I mean, I see Kobe Bryant, Carmelo Anthony, LeBron James, Kevin Durant, James Harden, Russell Westbrook, Chris Paul, Deron Williams, Kevin Love, Ant………is…………..is that?……………….Anthony Davis?!!! WTF?!
ANTHONY DAVIS?!! Anthony “Angry Birds” Davis, son? Already? Wtf is HE there for? You trynna pick up some charges wit them eyebrows? Trynna put fear in other countries with that ‘Tetris’ ass smile? Huh? Lookin’ to get a hold of LeBron’s barber to push that hairline back to normalcy, dawg?
LOOK AT YOUR HAIRLINE, FAM!!!
Fuck OUTTA Here, b!!! Batman needs your head to project his symbol in the air, nigga. Make yourself useful. Brace yourself, and i ain’t talkin’ preparation. Get bottom grillz, DO SOMETHING! Halloween comes once a year, for 24 hours. You need to chill, bruh.
I’m off it, though. But like I said…….the rest of that roster is immaculate. We got thisssss.
Stay cool, y’all. *walks into meat freezer*